Magic for Magic
by cooler-then-ice
Summary: Alternate ending: TDHPII The Cailleach said Arthur's life wasn't enough. The life given to open the veil was magical, and so to must be the life given to close it. Luckily, Arthur always has a warlock with him, whether he know it or not. MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH/REVEAL FIC. NO SLASH. Surprise twist anyone? And sorry for the sucky title . . .
1. Chapter 1

_Arthur looked down at his knight's crupled body. His eys shot back to the old woman defiantly. "I know what you want!" he called bravely. _

_The Cailleach did not seem surprised by this. "Do you?" she challenged in reply, slightly amused by the prince's words. There was a pause, in which she calculated the man before her. "And are you willing to let me have it?" _

_Arthur steeled himself and looked the woman in the eye. "I'm prepared to pay whatever price is necessary." The woman motioned him forward with a finger. He began to step forward, willing to die for the good of his people. Merlin held a hand out and opened his mouth to incant the spell, both horrified and heartened by what his friend was about to do. _

Time seemed to freeze as they heard the woman's ancient chuckle fill the air. "Oh, dear prince. A magical life was given. Why on Earth would your's ever compare to taht?" she mocked, stopping Arthur in his tracks and making Merlin hesitate with his spell. "Only a magical life can be given. I see you've brought one, but are you still willing to pay the price if you knew what I truly asked of you?"

"What are you talking about? I have brought no sorcerer with me!" Arthur replied.

"No," Merlin called, stepping forward and in front of his friend. "You brought a warlock. I will sufice?"

"You will more then sufice, young Emrys," the spirit cackled in reply, motioning him forward again.

"Merlin, stop!" Lancelot yelled, fearing for the young man's life. He was to young, he needed to see the world he's dreamed of for so long.

"Are you certain your prince will pay this price?"

Merlin smiled grimly at the question. "Arthur found out who I was before I was ready. He's more then willing to wager my life, the life of a warlock, for Camelot."

"Merlin?" Arthur asked tentivly as Merlin walked beside the Cailleach, barely sparing her a glance before passing her, still headed towards that dark gap in the world. "Merlin, whose Emrys? What do you mean, wha is a warlock? Why will your life suffice, Merlin?"

The warlock turned when he was a step away from the tear and looked to the knight. "Take care of them. Look after Arthur for me. And, most of all, be happy, Lancelot. You, my friend, deserve a few genuine smiles." At the tear filled nod, the servant looked to his master for the final time and gave a wide smile. "Sorry, prat, haven't got the time to answer. Go back to the castle, call together the Round Table again. You'll get the answers you seek. I'm sorry."

"Merlin, stop," Arthur ordered harshly. "Step away from there and explain to me what's going on."

Merlin smirked in reply to this. "Since when do I listen to orders?"

Arthur saw that there was only one hope. He let his shouldars drop and looked at the man. "Merlin, please. I can't bear to lose my best friend."

Merlin smiled sadly and stepped backwards, leaving the world of the living and watching as his friend's faces were sealed away from him as the tear repaired, being left in the darkness of the dead.

The trip was nearly silent. No one said a word unless it was someon offering to do something, which always lead to a single though. _Merlin should be doing that_. They were knights, they'd all seen people die, they'd all seen _themselves_ nearly die, and they were all prepared to lose one another. But not Merlin, who hid from bandits and sorcerers, who shied away from hunting, who cried for unicorns. None of them had thought that the kind, loyal, _cowardly_ manservant would be brave enough to face the _Cailleach_. But Merlin was not cowardly and how _dare _they disgrace his name by even pretending he was. Which somehow lead to more silence.

The only two who honestly didn't say a word were Lancelot and Arthur. Everyone was fine with this, because they had seen the man in his final moments, seen him face down death. They hadn't even said anything when they walked from the room, half carrying, half dragging a still unconsious Gwain between them. They hadn't needed to. They could read it on their faces. The idiot (not an idiot. More guilt) manservant had given his life to save Camelot. But that wasn't what the two realy thought about (well they did, but they put it to the back burner. They could torture themselves more thoroughly with such thoughts later). Lancelot was thinking of Merlin's final request (indirect as it may be). He and Gaius were going to have to tell Merlin's story, and tell it well enough to not disgrace the man's name and honor. And, to supplement such thoughts, he was praying to every diety he had ever heard of and not believed in that he would do his friend justice.

Arthur, on the other hand was still thinking over his questions. Why did Merlin's life suffice? What was a warlock? Who was Emrys? And, most importantly, the question he had been to afraid to ask: Why did he feel like he knew and trusted this Emrys with, not only his life, but the whole of Camelot (Guievere's life included)?

"We're nearing Camelot," Gwaine muttered, though everyone else knew as well as he did. This was the first time in the history of the world that anyone had ever missed Gwaine's inane chatter. It would have filled the silence of the lack of Merlin's prattling.

There was not another word said until they reached the square and slid off their horses, handing them off to stable hands. Everyone ignored (tried and failed to ignore) the extra stable hand, whose face want ashen when he noticed the kind man missing from the quest.

Gwen, having seen Arthur, rushed forward and embraced her brother, realizing herself at the last moment. Arthur, however, didn't care, and pulled the woman into his arms as soon as she was out of Elyan's. Everyone hugged Gwen, save Lancelot who had walked up the steps to meet the old physician. Gwen looked around, having been passed about and feeling slightly dizy. She looked at Gaius, and saw someone was missing.

"Where's Merlin?" she asked carefully, still staring at her old friend, who was staring at the ground, shaking his head slightly. She finally looked away and right at Arthur. She saw his red eyes and the dark circles beneath them and realized slowly. "Where is he?"

"Meeting with the Round Table," Arthur croaked, his throat sore from days without use. He cleared his throat and walked towards the castle, only to be stopped by his uncle.

"Arthur, you are alive?" Agravaine asked, confused, and not sounding happy in the least. He quickly smiled, and pat his nephew's shouldar. "Glad to see you. I'll assemble the council we will meet at once-"

"No," Arthur replied coldly. "We will meet tomorrow. First, I wish to speak with my knights who accompanied me on this quest as well as Gaius and Gwen. Then I shall see my father, after wich I will rest. We will meet tomorrow, at high noon." Without waiting for a reply, he continued onwards, marching straight towards his chambers and hoping the other's would follow.

Gwen walked in the back of the long group beside Gaius, clutching her brother's arm. "Gaius?" she asked, tentative, "do you know what's going on?"

Gaius looked at her with the sadest eyes she had ever seen him wear and nodded slowly. "Unfortunately I do, Guievere. Please wait until we are safely away from public eyes."

When Elyan pushed the doors shut, everyone sat in a small circle like formation on the ground, a space between Gwaine and Lancelot for Elyan. And one between leon and Arthur. for someone who would never join them again. Needless to say, they call kepy their eyes of that spot at any cost.

"Merlin is dead."

_**That was a bit short, I usually write longer chapters. Sorry, I just liked that ending (wanted to end at the break, but that was **_**way**_** to short, don't you think?). **_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Oh my goodness! Such a positive response! I am quite literally speechless by how many of you seemed to really like this story! Thank you so very much! This is for all of you, for making me cry with happiness for the first time in my entire life. Thank you so very much for all your support!**_

_"Merlin is dead." _

Everyone stiffened at the words that tumbled out of the prince's mouth. Gwen sobbed and Arthur let her fall into his arms, circling them around the girl as she cried. When she was calm enough to control her sobs, she sat back into her own seat, keeping a hand in Arthur's and not bothering to wipe away her tears.

"How did he . . . ?" Gwaine asked cautiously, aware of everyone's fragile postitions and not saying the words (he couldn't have even if he wanted to).

"The Cailleach demanded a life. She said mine would not due, but Merlin's would . . . Gaius, what is a warlock?"

"A warlock is like a sorcerer in some ways," Gaius replied, his throat thick and his eyes stinging. "They do spells and enchantments, like a sorcerer. However, a sorcerer merely has magic. A warlock _is _his magic."

"What do you mean?" Leon asked, confused by this.

"A sorcerer must study for years to learn to do magic. They must master it like an art form. Warlocks are born with the gift. It is like both a reflex and an arm to them. They rely on it, and it is apart of them, if not the whole of them. A sorcerer gets some level of a choice. A warlock does not." Everyone was suprised as Lancelot answered this instead, his voice quiet and his eyes on the hands he held clenched into fists on his knees. His eyes came up slowly and he looked at all of his friends before his eyes settled on the blank space that sat nearly opposite him. "That's how it was explained to me."

"Warlocks also have trace amounts of instinctual magic," Gaius said, staring at the knight with a small frown.

"So Merlin was a . . ." Arthur trailed off, unable to say the words.

"Merlin had magic," Elyan murmured, confused by the explination.

"Merlin _was _magic," Percival corrected, putting two and two together, and adding his own one to get the necessary five.

"Merlin lied to us," Arthur realized. Everyone else felt a stab of pain at this before they slowly realized . . . If their very existance broke the law, then they probably wouldn't go telling the very people who swore to protect those laws. They realized a moment after their pain subsided, that their was no anger for him keeping such a large secret from them. After another moment, they realized that they had not once thought about how Merlin had broken the laws of Camelot.

"He would have told you, he just didn't want you to have to choose between him and your father. Nor the knights or Guinevere to have to choose between him and you," Gaius soothed, eyes locking onto the prince.

"But he told Lancelot," Gwaine said, upset that he wasn't his first friend's most trusted knight.

"He didn't tell me," Lancelot corrected, eyes still on the should-be-Merlin-empty-spcae. "I heard him say a spell to kill the Gryphon. That's why I left. I couldn't take the credit for what Merlin did."

"Who is Emrys?" Arthur asked, accepting all this information without question.

Gaius smiled slightly. Arthur hadn't asked if Merlin was evil. He doubted that the though had even crossed his mind. The prince's friendship with the warlock mattered more then a lifetime of teachings.

Gaius took this as an ample reason to start Merlin's story. Lancelot chipped in when he knew a story, and Gaius left a few out. Only the amusing ones though. No one here was in the mood for laughing so soon after . . .

"I'll be back momentarily. I must visit my father," Arthur said, after Gaius went quiet for a few minutes, his tale over with. Arthur had stored away everything the physician had said for later, when he didn't have other things to do. It was late, and his father would be asleep soon. He'd want to know he was alright.

Everyone stared at him, thinking he was going to tell his father about Merlin before they realized he was just doing his duty as a son. This caused them all to almost think about smiling as the prince walked towards his father's chambers.

When he arrived, his father was sat in his chair by the window, staring out it blankly, a tray of food half eater beside him which made Arthur's heart swell-his father had eaten.

"I'm sorry," Arthur heard. He looked around the room before realizing it had been his father who had spoke.

"Why?" Arthur replied, sitting down in the chair beside the king. Uthur's eyes slowly trailed to his son and he blinked.

"I heard about your servant. He died on this quest, did he not?" At his son's stiff nod, he sighed. "He saved your life didn't he? That's why he did it, to save your life."

"Yes. He saved the whole of Camelot though."

"He did. He was good to you. He may have been an awful servant, as you so often said . . ." His father's voice trailed off and Arthur looked into his eyes, to see and alert clearness there that hadn't been there for a long time. "But he was a good friend, wasn't he?"

Arthur stared at this father for a few moment before he settled into his chair, looking out the window. "One of the best."

The kings hand came up to rest on the prince's arm and he squeezed it gently. "I'm sorry he had to die. He didn't deserve that." Arthur merely nodded in agreement, not wanting to say anything and find he'd just been imagining his father's lucidity.

It wasn't for a few weeks until the Round Table was able to meet up again. Arthur had been busy, council meetings discussing the aftermath of the Dorocha and King Lot's tentative proposal on peace, as he felt Arthur would make a great ruler some day, but didn't want to make the prince feel as if he was disrgarding his father's reign-Lot's kingdom allowed magic, in a loose sense (high regulations built out of fear). After a while, Arthur sent back that a treaty would be possible in the future, and to talk to him when he was king.

But, what had really kept Arthur occupied was his father. The awareness he'd seen in his father the night he returned had not left him, he was almost his old self. He still wasn't ready to take on the resposibility of king yet, but he ate more, took care of himself, and even went for walks through the castle. Camelot was entering a time of prosperity, it seemed.

Save for the glaringly obvious, he would always turn to his side to make a joke only to find the space empty. It was hard, but with everything else going on, he found he was coping without his friend. Learning to walk without his help. Learning how to be a good man without his sad stares or half hearted taunts when he wasn't. His best friend had died. But he was becoming a better man because of it.

So, with all this going on, after Merlin's funeral was the first time the group sat down again.

And they were able to laugh at the stories Gaius had left out. And roll their eyes at Merlin's smaller _oopsies_. And remember the stories they hadn't known they'd forgot about their fallen friend.

Life wasn't good without Merlin. But perhaps, _perhaps_, someday it could be.

_**Wow, that was a nice ending. What's that? The stories still marked incomplete? Guess that means I'm making an epilogue . . . or something like that. ;D. REVIEW PLEASE. **_

_**And yes, I know. I indirectly promised this chapter would be longer . . . I'll try better if you keep reading. (I think I gave something away . . . Did you figure it out yet?)**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**I'm not very happy with this chapter, but I promised myself I'd upload something every week and my other stories aren't ready for publishing (they don't have titles yet). Sorry. **_

_**Oh, and there's a reason last chapter seemed so rushed . . . but you'll have to wait a few chapters (one or two, tops three) to find out why. Thanks for reading! **_

The girl bowed as she entered the room. "Your majesties," she adressed her king and queen.

"What is your name?" Gwen asked kindly, smiling down at the young girl.

"Selita," the girl replied.

"Strange name," Arthur comented, staring at the girl, awaiting her telling of her problem.

"Yes, it would be." No one questioned the odd statement. They had become slightly more common and slightly less odd since a month after Gwen had become Queen.

Six months after Merlin's Final Quest (as it is referred to by most because it sounds interesting), King Uther had fallen sick after gettting better immediately following the boys death. The calm before the storm, as it happened. Three months later the king had died, leaving Arthur to rule. A month later, there was a grand wedding and the coronation of the queen. A seat was left empty in the front row, where Merlin should have sat. A month later, the king passed his first law. Their friend would have been proud.

"Why do you come to us, Selita?" Gwen asked, tilting her head at the girl's silence.

"This audience is not for me. It was simply the best way to get you and your knights assembled," the girl replied quietly, looking around at the five men who stood around the room. "He will need to see you all. It will be easier to accomplish if you are together."

_MEANWIHLE_

A figure entered the gates to Camelot. When the gaurds shouted for him to stop he waved his hand, causing them to turn around and forget his existance. A handy trick. He quickly slinked through the castle, not once being spotted. He ducked into an alcove for a moment, his eyes shining as he implanted the idea into the court physician's head to go to the throne room. Hopefully, the King and Queen would be there. He would have to find the knights one by one. This would take longer then he'd wanted. As he felt the physician begin to obey his beconning, he smiled a self-satisfied smirk. This was going to be too easy.

_BACK IN THE THRONE ROOM_

"Who is the audience for?" Arthur asked, as his hand fell to the hilt of his sword.

She merely smiled at him, before turning to the doors. "He is coming." The doors opened and a long figure covered by a hooded dark blue robe entered quietly, his identity entirely hidden within the folds of the cloak.

_Hello_ the voice echoed through the room without coming from a particular sorce. Though, from the flash of gold under the robe, they knew who was speaking. The knights all drew their swords and he tilted his head slightly. _The party is not yet complete, my friends. Please, let's play later. _

"Who are you? What do you want?" Arthur demanded, rising from his throne and taking out excaliber.

_I would like to ask a question. Are the rumors true?_ When no one moved the disembodied voice seemed to sigh. _Has magic been legalized? _The man reiterated testily.

"Yes. What business do you have here?" Gwen replied, standing as well and gently touching her husbands arm.

"May I?" the girl, Selita, asked the man quietly. His hood moved and she took this as permission, getting onto one knee and resting her elbow upward facing knee, placing her forhead on her forarm. "My lord."

His head moved again, this time seeming to duck it in acknowledgement before the hood ticked to the side.

_My old friend Gaius draws near _the voice murmured, excited by the prospect. _Soon, young ones. Soon your suffering shall be over. _

Everyone stiffened at this, hearing a threat in the words. The girl on the ground chuckled and rose looking back to the royalty in the room. The doors opened again and Gaius strode forward before freezing when he saw the cloak. "Who are you?" the old man demanded, stepping forward only to be held back by Percival.

_Don't recognize me, Gaius? _the voice taunted. The physician's eyes narrowed and the figure began to sway. "Dizy," the sorcerer croaked in a voice much different from the one they had heard. One that was almost familiar. Salita carefully grabbed the man's robes and brought him to the ground. His head followed her as she moved around him, lying his head in her lap.

"Sleep now, my lord," she murmured, keeping his hood up with one hand. "You have done well. You have gone far. You deserve rest." He seemed to nod in agreement before slowly falling into unconsiousness.

"Who are you?" Gwaine asked, his sword pointed at the sorcerer instead of at the girl.

"I am Selita, as I told you. I am a Druid, and this is the Lord-" she paused in her explanation, frowning at the being she was cradling. "This is a friend. He will not harm you."

"It certainly sounded like he would," Elyan replied, his sword pointing at the girl, seeing the conscious one as a bigger threat.

"Who is he? Why do you call him Lord?" Gaius asked. "The only person I have ever heard being referred to as a Lord by the Druids is dead." The girl looked up and smiled sadly at him.

"Please. He is not well. He has been walking since he awoke a month ago. He did not rest, he did not eat or drink, he is only alive now because of his magic. He needs a bed to rest in, and I need to stay with him. I will answer whatever questions I have permission to answer. His story is not mine to tell, I fear he will be upset with me as it is for all I have told you."

"A month straight?" Leon asked. "Sounds like he was in a hurry to get here." The girl nodded, looking down at the figure in awe.

"How do you know him?" Gwen asked, walking around the knights and leaning beside the girl.

"This is the first time I have met him," she replied.

"How did you know he would need you?"

"I am a Seer. I saw this meeting many years ago, and then again, a fortnight before your coronation m'lady."

"And why did he need to see us?" The girls lips thinned at the question and Gwen nodded. "What can you tell us to ensure us he will not cause us any harm?"

"He was merely testing your security. He knew you could not hurt him, but he wanted to see if you would try. He knew this day would end in a meeting with the king, whether he be cloaked or not, a free man or shackled, turned away or well received. He simply wanted to see how well a dangerous looking sorcerer could break into the throne room. I wished for your knights to be here as I knew it would be of more comfort to you then if he had just come in when you had only gaurds."

"Why is he testing our security?"

"He wants to see what he can fix." The figure let out a pained moan and the Selita looked down at him, concerned. "He is very unwell. Please, I must treat him without his identity being revealed pre-emptivly. He would be most cross."

"Why don't you want to anger him?" Lancelot asked, sounding his voice for the first time. "Do you fear him?"

"Of course not," the girls reply came immediately as she stroked the cloak where the man's arm was. "He is the kindest of us all. He is a good man, who has been through much and still has a way to go. I do not wish to add to that burden."

"Come. I will take you somewhere you can treat him," Gwen said, standing slowly. The girl looked at her, confused, motioning to the sleeping man. "Percival, take him please. Mind his hood." The large man carefully took the man, his hand quickly nudging the hood back into place as it slipped slightly before settling him into a secure position.

Arthur frowned at his wife's always trusting nature. He followed the group, keeping his sword out and his eyes on his two "guests".

As the cloaked man was settled onto his bed he let out another pained groan. The girl was immediately at his side. "Please, you must leave. He is in pain, I need to aid him," the girl begged, her eyes fluttering around the edges of his cloak, trying to help him but not being able to do so.

The knights all looked to eachother, slightly frightened by the prospect. Leave these two possibly dangerous magic users alone in the castle?

"What is the point in removing the ban on magic if we still can't trust any magic users?" Gwen hissed. "She said they will not harm us."

"He acted in oposition to that," Gwaine quiped at his queen who rolled her eyes.

"But she has not. Look at her-" everyone looked at the girl "-she's terrified. She just wants to help him. How dare _we _try to stop her."

"Gwaine . . . Let Gwaine stay," the man rasped.

"My Lord, you should be resting," Selita frowned, fretting over her patient again.

"Let him stay. He can keep us in line," he continued, sitting up slightly to look at the group. Gwaine gave a stiff nod and shooed the others.

"I'll take care of this," Gwaine agreed, shutting the door on their protests. "Why me?"

"You were jealous of Lancelot when you found out, weren't you?" the sorcerer asked as the girl quickly removed his cloak. "And stop saying-or, er, thinking sorcerer. I'm a warlock, Gwaine. I thought they'd have told you that."

Upon hearing the words (and ignoring the ones about his thoughts), Gwaine stepped forward, disbelieving and almost cried with joy when he saw the pale, dark haired, blue eyed first friend he'd never given up hope on. The boy grinned, seeing Gwaine's disbelieving face.

"I take it this was not what you expected. That makes two of us. Soon to be more." Merlin laid his head back down, squinting at the girl who was fretting about him.

"I don't understand. I thought you were injured?" she asked. "Lord Emrys? Were you hurt?"

"My back." She helped him to roll over and gasped at the sorry state of his back. There were six massive, gaping wounds going down the length of his back. The were oozing slightly and the skin around it was green-it was badly infected, in other words.

"That'll give you some battle scars," Gwaine comented as he lifted his friend carefully and the girl peeled the scrap of a shirt of of his skin. He hissed as the fabric touched his wounds and she whispered apologies.

"Lord Emrys-"

"Dear, you've got my shirt off. I think you can call me Merlin," the man interrupted the girl. Her cheeks flushed bright red at the remark and Gwaine chuckled. "Really. So long as it is just me you and Gwaine, call me Merlin until I tell the others. That's the only reason you're allowed to call me Lord anything . . . And the Emrys nonsense. Don't call me that, my name is Merlin."

"The name Emrys brings hope to my people," she argued. He chuckled and rolled his right shouldar, were a flaming triskilian shown through the carnage.

"Our people. And I'm aware, it just makes me uncomfortable to be called a name of such high respect without having earned it yet. Arthur's destiny is not yet complete, and therefor my isn't either." She nodded her head, respecting his wishes, and began tending to his wounds gently.

"Oh Merlin, what did you do?" she sighed, sounding like an exasperated mother. The girl was beginning to feel bad for her hero's mother.

"I didn't do it . . . I found a Craethon in the woods and we didn't exactly see eye to eye on whether or not I should continue breathing."

"Does that mean this is you winning?" Gwaine asked, gesturing towards the holes in his back. At the nod, Gwaine chuckled. "I"d hate to see the . . . Craethon, did you say?"

"Nasty beasts," Selita muttered. "Dark magic. They claw into you and attack your magic. They cause the most searing pain immaginable."

Merlin's head flipped around so he could look at her and give a boyish grin. "Be sure to mention that to Arthur when he calls me a girl next."

"When did it stop hurting?" Gwain asked his friend, handing the girl a jar she hadn't been able to reach from her bag. Merlin's head flipped around again, giving a blank look.

"Stop?" he replied, sounding confused. "It doesn't stop until either it kills you or you have someone stop it. Can you do that-I still don't know your name."

"Oh!" she gasped. "I'm sorrry. I'm Selita."

"Pretty," Merlin murmured, as his eyes began to shut. "Gwaine no flirting." And then he was asleep again.

"He's still in pain?" Gwaine asked, staring at the wounds with new fascination.

"An excrutiating amount," the girl agreed, making quick work of his back. She frowned, wiping her hands on Merlin's discarded shirt (dirty, covered in blood, tattered, he wouldn't miss it). "I can't do much more, save bandage them obviously. The worst thing about them is that they ward magic off. I can't heal it as I normally would, I have to work by normal means until Merlin starts being able to stay conscious long enough to help me fight the Craethon's magic that remains in him."

Gwaine nodded, staring down at his friend. "He'll need a shirt." The girl glanced up and muttered something, her eyes flashing gold and a blue shirt appearing in her hands.

"It's my brother's. He wont miss it," she explained. She muttered something again, her eyes flashed, and she was holding a lot of gauze. "We'll need to bandage his whole torso. Prop him up, will you?"

Gwaine did as he was asked, turning his friend so he could be wrapped up as easily as possible without waking him. "You have so much explaining to do, my friend."


	4. Chapter 4

"My lord, I am uncertain of if you are conscious or not, but regardless, I wish to say something to you, may the triple goddess decide if you hear it. Emrys, it is your duty to m-our people to protect the king, but I am uncertain if he truly needs you. You have already given your life, perhaps your destiny has been fulfilled. Magic has been restored to the kingdom, the land is prospering, the time of Albion is near.

"Perhaps your destiny as the Once and Future King's protector is done. Perhaps now you are supposed to travel on a different path."

"I do not protect Arthur for you," Merlin murmured. Selita jumped back and stared at the man in shock. "It is not my destiny that makes me fight to protect Arthur. It is my love of Camelot, of the knights and the Queen, and of the prat himself that makes me fight for him."

"My lord, I am sorry, I was not aware that . . ."

"Selita, please, speak freely. And call me Merlin."

Selita stared at him unsure before sighing. "You cannot die again, Merlin. When you died last our people were devastated. When we heard that magic had been freed . . . It was not the same."

Merlin placed a hand on hers, sitting up slightly. "Believe me, I do not want to die again either." She smiled slightly in reply and the warlock sighed. "My destiny is not yours to decide, nor is it mine. I was told I was meant to protect Arthur, and I will with my life. If my destiny is done and I have served my dues, I will choose to spend my life protecting Arthur. It does not matter if my destiny is done, the outcome is the same."

"I admit that I do not understand, but I respect your decisions." She continued to looked doubtful and he squeezed her hand gently.

"Selita, Arthur is my best friend, and the people in Camelot are the closest I will ever come to family."

"Family?" she murmured. She tipped her head before nodding in understanding. "Alright. I apologize, my lord, I suppose I was being selfish."

"Call me Merlin." There was a brief pause before Merlin's brows knit together. "Selfish?"

She turned a light pink and her head fell. "Oh. You were my hero when I was little. I always dreamed of meeting you and . . . I had a dream of you when I was young, and I have been looking forward to our meeting for years. It is truly an honor, my lord . . . Merlin." She cast her eyes upwards and turned a brighter red at the warlock's amused grin. "I was devastated when you died, I thought my vision was wrong . . . That I had been wrong. I do not want to go through that again."

The man chuckled lightly as he pat her hand, his blues eyes shining with mischief. "Well, it is my honor to meet such a dedicated fan." She rolled her eyes and he moved so he was again lying on his stomach. "I apologize, but I grow tired, which seems to be a constant state recently. Wake me when they arrive." She nodded, taking her responsibilities far too seriously, something Merlin was starting to realize she did very often.

"Rest then, Merlin Emrys. I will watch over you."

"Merlin Emrys?"

She smiled mischievously, something Merlin had yet to see on the girl. "I see the future my lord. I speak of days to come." She grasped his upper arm gently and walked to a chair at the table, clicking her fingers and creating lights and winds, her eyes a near constant gold.

Selita's eyes shot up as the door swung open with a quiet knock, the white and silver magic falling in a shower over the table. Arthur looked surprised by the use of magic before smiling. The girl stood quickly and the queen waved a hand at her.

"Please Selita, sit," she said kindly as all the knights slowly shuffled in, Gwaine grinning at the girl.

"Too much for pretty boy was it?" he asked her jovially. She rolled her eyes, moving gently over to the slumbering man and gently shaking his arm. His head shot up and she held his hood to his head, smiling at the darkened opening.

"Good morning M-y lord." He gently ran a hand over her wrist, trying to show the grin she couldn't see.

"Selita," he rumbled, moving to sit up and wincing when the skin of his back pulled. "It is growing more and more difficult to wake up each time. May the triple goddess grant me the strength needed to aid you." She smiled at his gentle prayer and helped him to move to the table.

"Are you feeling ill?" Lancelot asked, confused by the girl's assistance.

"He's injured and terrible at caring for himself. I've been told he should be dead," Gwaine interrupted, glaring at the dark figure.

_I am sorry that my health displeases you_ the echoing voice returned, which Gwaine now heard as Merlin's.

"How does that work precisely? The voice has changed since last hearing it." The other's turned to him confused and they heard gentle laughing from the hood.

_You hear what you expect, Sir Gwaine. As you know my voice you hear my voice. The other's think me to be threatening, so they hear such. _Gwaine chuckled at the thought of Merlin harming anyone. _Careful. I am quite powerful. _

"You will never scare me, my friend."

Leon cleared his throat and all eyes turned to him. "I apologize, but I believe we have matters that must be discussed." Merlin's arms crossed atop the table and he leaned forward, nodding in agreement.

_This is true. I am certain you all had matters that you wished to discuss. _

"The most important I am sure you are aware of," the king said, slightly coldly.

Merlin sighed and tilted his head from one side to the next. _I apologize, but I do not wish to reveal myself without Gaius present. _

"He is tending to patients," Elyan said, taking his sister's lead in kindness. "He will be here as soon as he can be." The hood bobbed with a nod and Percival sighed.

"Perhaps we should discuss other matters then. You have notes on our security?" Percival interjected, taking the neutral option and speaking mildly.

_Yes. I would suggest magical wards. _

"My lord, wards would prevent all magic, including your own," Selita interrupted gently. Merlin's hand shot down to again rub her wrist, something she had figured was his sign for a grin.

_If they would allow me, I would set the wards. They would be specialized so those they trusted with magic could maintain use of it. _

"Is that possible?" Lancelot asked. "Can you suppress all other's magic?"

Merlin's hand moved across Selita's skin again and she smiled, looking down at his hands. _So long as they hold less magic then I, yes, easily._

"I believe it is those more powerful then you that we fear," Leon pointed out, moving his arms to the table.

"There are none on Earth more powerful than him," Selita interrupted. The room tensed as the majority thought of the most powerful magic user they knew, the one they were unaware they were speaking to. The hood dipped forward and Selita grabbed the warlock's hand in comfort. He squeezed gently in appreciation and she grinned.

Gwen broke the silence first, murmuring, "Well, we would be glad for your help then."

"Assuming we find you trustworthy," the king burst in, examining the dark hood.

"Calm yourself, princess, you will," Gwaine grumbled. Elyan rolled his eyes at his friend's behavior and Leon fought back a chuckle.

_Of course, your majesty,_ Merlin agreed. Gwaine snorted and Merlin's thumb moved down to Selita's wrist quickly.

"Why do you wish for me to know when you smile?" she asked quietly.

He moved towards her slightly. "It makes you smile in turn." She again turned pink, something she was hoping he would stop making her do, but sincerely doubting it.

"I believe your words were 'no flirting' M-agician," Gwaine stumbled causing the other two to laugh.

_That was directed towards you, Gwaine_ Merlin replied, chuckling at his friend's pout.

All eyes turned towards the door as Gaius slowly entered and quietly settled in the last remaining seat.

"We are all assembled," Lancelot pointed out.

"Remove your hood," Arthur commanded, finishing the thought.

Merlin sighed and moved his hands to his hood, gently tugging the fabric away from his head and revealing his face.

* * *

**_AN: So, I am expecting most of you to hate me now. And I know, four months and then I leave you with that? Well, I am the devil incarnate so I do apologize. And the size, again, I really am sorry about it but I have no idea how to add more. (QUICK SPOILER/OPINION ON FUTURE OF STORY) I'm thinking of making Selita sort of a romantic interest (as you can tell by this chapter) but if you are all opposed to this that will be my apology for being such a terrible author. (END SPOILER) So, not that I deserve it, but please review, and I really am sorry about being so absent, but my old computer with all my stories crashed so I had to rewrite everything, and all the personal stuff and school . . . Either way, hopefully there will never be a break quite this long. Thanks for reading and sticking with me! _**


	5. Chapter 5

Merlin's neck immediately elongated as he felt the sharp tang of a sword against his neck.

"Arthur!" Gwen exclaimed, putting her hand on his arm as she usually did to stop him. This time, however, Arthur remained unmoved.

"How long?" the king demanded, trying to quiet the voice that was telling him to push harder.

"A month," the warlock replied, staring at his friend's face.

"A month . . . Why haven't you returned until now?" he demanded.

"It took me a month to travel here," Merlin replied evenly. Selita grabbed Merlin's arm, trying to pull him away from the sword but the man wouldn't budge. She couldn't understand why Merlin would put his life in this man's hands, but she would have to respect the decision.

Arthur guaffed. "You are the most powerful magician on Earth. Were we not worthy of the effort it took for a traveling spell?"

Gaius stood cautiously. "Arthur, sire, please remove your sword. I'm sure this story would be better told without a blade restricting the motions of his throat."

Merlin laughed. "Oh no, Arthur. If it makes you feel comfortable, feel free to point your weapon!" When the weapon didn't move, Merlin sighed. "Well then. Selita told you what had happened. I couldn't transport myself here, sire. I swear, if I could have, I would have been here as soon as I could."

"The point still stands, Merlin," Leon interrupted. "Why couldn't you transport yourself?"

"I came back from the dead, and you're all questioning my travelling abilities?" Merlin laughed tightly. "You might want to get your priorities in order." He didn't want to talk about it. If he told them, it would be true. He couldn't let it be true.

"Merlin, what are you hiding?" Lancelot asked, standing to join Gwen.

"My lord-" at the glare she received, Selita quickly changed her approach. "Merlin, it is strange that you chose this way to travel."

Merlin turned away from them. He changed his mind, he didn't want to be here, he didn't want this.

"Merlin?" Gaius asked, grabbing the boys shoulder and turning him around. Merlin looked at the man and sighed, looking to an unlit candle and lighting it with a flash of gold.

"Oh no," Selita gasped, knowing exactly what had occured. Gaius squeezed the shoulder, not sure what had occured, but knowing it couldn't be good.

"Why didn't your eye flash?" Lancelot asked, having seen Merlin do magic before and knowing that both, not just one, eyes should light up.

"He's lost his magic," Selita gasped, wrapping her arms around the boy to comfort him.

"But I've seen him use his magic," Percival spoke up. "He couldn't have lost his power, he used them earlier."

"That's my instictual magic. For simple things, like displacing and disguising my voice, opening doors, implanting ideas into the minds of people I know." Merlin looked down at the top of the girls head, winding his arms around her gently. "I lost most of my magic though. I don't . . . I can't transport, I can't learn new spells, I can't . . . I can't do anything beyond the basics."

"You just lit a candle. Fire is simple magic?" Elyan asked. Merlin shrugged, deciding he didn't want to discuss the issue further.

"Different people can do different things," Selita replied, moving herself away from the warlock. "For example, if I lost my power I would keep only my visions, those being my instinctual magic. Merlin is more elemental, her deals with the four elements and the different senses."

"And time," he murmured. "That's how I got past the guards. I rewound their own personal time so they would forget about me."

"And that's simple?" Elyan clarified. At Merlin's nod he laughed.

"Can you get it back?" Gaius asked his ward. Merlin shrugged.

"It's unheard of," Selita replied for him. He shrunk in on himself and the words _I'm nothing without my magic _ran through Gaius' head. Gwen touched the swords that were still raised and lowered them gently.

"Merlin," she murmured, hugging the boy. "I am so sorry."

He shrugged helplessly, hugging his friend in return.

"But . . . Merlin is the first warlock in centuries!" Selita continued. "Long before these . . . evil, twisted binds had been discovered. If anyone can get his magic back, it's Merlin." Merlin looked to her gratefully, but disbelieving. "Truly, Merlin. If anyone could undo such evil magic, it is you."

"What makes you so certain?" he asked rhetorically. "Because of your favorite bedtime story?"

Her mouth twitched down at his harsh words, but she remained certain. "You know what colors mean my magic is silver for my eyes and white-"

"For purity," Merlin finished instinctively. She grinned at him, nodding. "So what? My magic is blue for my eyes and gold for magic. My magic is basic and poorly used, it isn't special to anyone but me and now it's gone."

"No!" Everyone seemed surprised by her exclamation and watched as she took a deep, calming breath. "You're magic is gold because it's _magic_. You're magic is the magic that courses through the world. There has never before been golden magic, Merlin. Your magic isn't just natural, it's _nature_."

There was a long pause as everyone processed this. "Selita," Gaius began, seeing as Merlin was either still in shock or had moved onto denial, "do you have any idea how he could have his magic returned to him?"

"A great number, unfortunately," she replied. "And no certainty of which is true. He may have to go to the place where magic was born, or to the place where he himself was born. He may need to find a way to strengthen his magic, or weaken it. He may . . ." She stopped here, positive she nor anyone else would want her to continue.

"Selita, we need to know how to help him," Gwen said, placing a careful hand on the girl's shoulder.

"You're the expert and the only one who can help him," Gwaine agreed.

"He . . ." She looked at Merlin helplessly. "I'm so sorry Merlin. You may have to watch as . . . as someone you loved died."

"Has he not done that enough!?" Lancelot exclaimed. "His father, the girl he loved, his childhood friend. Must he loose another?"

"So who will it be?" Arthur asked harshly to Merlin. "Who will you let die just so you can continue to use your magic? And when we've died for you, where will you go? Certainly not here."

Everyone gasped as a harsh wind blew through the room, extinguishing all flames and nocking the king into the wall. "How dare you!" Merlin hissed, finally coming out of his blank stare. "I love my magic. I am nothing without it. But I'd rather be nothing – I'd rather be dead! – then have to watch someone else I love die." He shook his head and the harsh wind died down. There was no light in the room, but Merlin seemed to be glowing. "I can live without my magic. It will be painful, but I can learn to do things on my own. I cannot live without any of you."

There was a long moment of pause as everyone attempted to process this. Merlin was willing to give up the only thing he had left so they would all stay safe. Even Leon, who had to this day died eight times and would likely come back from that as well.

"It could be something else," Selita added hopefully, touching Merlin's hand in an attempt to comfort him.

"No," he denied. "I have to . . . I have to watch someone I love die." He looked to her and smiled sadly. "Sorry I'm such a disappointing hero."

She again leaned in to hug him. "Most heroes I hear are disappointing. You my lord, most certainly are not."

* * *

_**Hi! I bet you guys don't remember me. I'm that one really sporadic author with the mildly addictive plot lines and cruel cliffhangers? Hey! Good to see you again . . . So . . . Should I ready all of my means of protections from the angry mob, or will the promise that the next chapter got to it's halfway point while I was having this edited save me? **_

_**So . . . Next chapter sooner then this one? Promise! (Not that that is a very difficult promise to keep. Have I even updated this year?) Also, question for everyone . . . Is anyone a fan of anything else? Examples being Doctor Who, Supernatural, PJO/HoO, Torchwood, things like that? Wondering if posting those stories might tide you lot over while I work on this one, which I consider my baby. Review maybe? **_


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